i feel depressed, horribly low on self esteem, very doubtful, angry, sad and every single bad feeling roll into one big giant lump in my throat that this afternoon i could hardly breathe, literally.

Half of it wasn't even my fault and i still think that considering all factors, the judgement wasn't fair. i really truly did not receive a single email and I am still being accused a liar and an irresponsible teacher for telling the truth.

You know what, I know my own skills and I can tell her straight to her face I am damn pissed that I need someone to tell me how good i am. My CTs and my kids know that at least it's not dat bad and why should I be told and ranked on how good I am?

The whole system is so freaking based on ppl's judgements and feelings. I believe every individual knows their strengths and weaknesses and I bloody hell know I am not that weak.

I do not want to after nearly 2 years lose my GPA standing based on some woman's nose-in-the-air to tell me I am not fit to be a teacher. I worked hard and everyone knows I do improve and I do want it a lot. And it all started with her own fault, seriously. Yes I did misunderstand and I did make errors but I had only 24 hrs, with my PMS AND flu to cope with. Bloody hell.....

I worked too damn hard to let some person put me down. It may not have as great a GPA as some may have but my GPA has been my best in nearly my whole studying life and she bloody hell destroyed it!!!!!

I'm sorry, I just have to let it all out. It may shock some of you that I may not be all happy go lucky and optimistic at all times. I am a tolerant person but I really really really hate people who totally misjudge, lack trust in me and worst of all, doubt my abilities. Yes, I am not an A+ student but I am certainly no useless person!!! Of cos criticsim is hard to hear but tell me, who would like ppl to tell you almost literally u suck at who u r?! So who can blame me for how i feel now.

My only thanks to God now is that my grade fortunately is not just dependent on today. however when the first round is so bad, how can i carry on. I have, worst of all, let her doubts make me doubt myself......